The curse of doing too much

Ah, the joys of being busy. Feeling important, feeling validated, feeling as though there's surely a reward somewhere along the way, surely someone is watching and noticing all of this busy-ness, all this effort and striving and straining, and will be handing out a big cash prize/enlightenment/the meaning of life soon?

Well, no. Probably not, in all honesty. Most spiritual practices I have either tried or read about don't seem to celebrate the tolls of a 24/7 lifestyle, or a packed to the max diary. Most seem to rate, well, sitting down, breathing, and meditating as pretty high up there in the stakes of spiritual freedom. But as that doesn't make anyone money, and doesn't look pretty on Instagram, it's not so popular. Odd that.   

I speak, as usual, solely for myself, trying to give myself the advice I need. I am a right one for filling my diary. For wanting to try new things, eat at new restaurants, see friends and say yes to every work project that interests me (and I'm interested in a lot). But right now, as the seasons shift, and I am faced with the inarguable truth that I have to take my own advice, I know I need to slow it down. Do less. Practice what I preach, to embody what I believe: that energy is precious but we have choice over how we manage it, and that rest is radical. To stop and slow down not only saves our energy, but could preserve our energy so we can invest in the thing that we really want to do, the things that really matter, rather than flitting from here there and everywhere trying to be all things to all people, and in the process losing ourselves. 

The action I'm  planning to take? I'm cutting back on classes. In a city overrun with yoga teachers, where Move GB dominates the market, and space is a premium, this is a brave thing to do, especially as I'm someone who has lived for a long time with the belief that there simply isn't enough. I don't make this decision with confidence, my faith at present feels shaky, and at regular intervals I decide I've  made a massive mistake. But courage is a funny beast. It takes courage to do things - bungee jump, change career, end a safe but unfulfilling relationship. It sometimes takes courage to NOT do something, or, indeed, anything. To let go and not immediately fill the space. and instead allow for the space to unfold, perhaps bringing new ideas, thoughts, or opportunities. To find yourself with nothing to do and learn to be happy with it. Radical? For me, yes. So it's with a slightly heavy heart I say goodbye to my classes at Breathe Bristol, and open up some space in my diary for . . . well, let's watch this space.  

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